I had the strangest thought occur in my mind
Easy to speak of but hard to write
It was me sitting in my room crying on the floor
Screaming, “I don’t want to live anymore!”
All the pent up anger a sadness and whatever
Spilling out onto the carpet like bad weather
Until the only thing that I can make myself do
Is stand up and throw myself around the room
I bash my head into the corner of my wall
Pray that no one can hear me from down the hall
I take the vase of flowers, thrust it to the ground
Shattered glistening glass lays all around
I jump on it up, down with pieces in my feet
Crawl to my bed so I can lay there and bleed
Grab a pen from my bedside and draw on my skin
Digging deep so there’s permanent lines on the body I’m in
Wipe the blood my my sheets onto my face
Run into the wall with force like a race
Until my room looks like a crime scene
I’m writhing on the floor in pain
I take the brush for hair and bruise my flesh
Cut my hair with scissors til nothings left
With tears in my eyes I pound the red floor
Screaming, “I can’t do this anymore!”
Throw the items off of my dressers
Beat myself with my fist like a successor
And this thought, it feels terribly real
The vibrations of the stomping I can almost feel
And I get so close to making it come true
That I scare myself and refuse to go to my room
To escape my madness coming undone
I slip on my shoes and go for a run

© Waiteing