I thought
I'd be better
by now
I thought
I was mending
somehow
I thought
I'd find a way out

I know
god wouldn't test you
if you weren't strong
but why,
oh why
must I endure it
for so long
in this game of life
I'm an expendable pawn
it's always darkest
before the dawn
is what they said
but
they were wrong

for I've been beaten,
battered and bruised,
lied to, cried to,
I've grown used
to being used
alas,
I'm going askew,
this is a letter
adressed to those
who are drowning
in blue
maybe,
just maybe,
you feel this way too

you see,
I can never
look forward
so instead,
I look back
I search
for the beginning
of the end
where I started
to crack
I found
things like this
are hard to track

you see
I've always felt
I was
under attack
by the brightness
of the people
who had something
I lacked
so the thoughts
and the feelings
they started to stack
the light they all had
I found
in pitch black
the darkness consumed me
but I never
fought back
I dont want to be part
of the world
that cut me
no slack

so this is it,
I guess
im waving goodbye
to the land
i was brought
by mistake of the sky
no,
I'll no longer smile
I'd rather not lie
it's not a sad ending
there's no need
to cry
you know
you get the most flowers
the day that you die

I've left no mark
on this world
and I wont
leave a trace
I've always been waiting
for the chance
for the day
where I'd finally feel
even deaths
embrace
if you're wondering why
I don't have much else
to say,
you just can't force
a puzzle piece
to fit into
the wrong place