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She Died
I decided to die
3 years to the day
I wanted it to all fade away
Tears lining my paint on smile
Dreaming of falling and never getting up
Wishing would drown
Wishing I could no longer make a sound

3 years to the day
I was wearing that mask,
Prey in a trap
Going insane ready to snap
Intimately aware of how fickle the heartbeats
Destroyed, ready to claim defeat
An echo chamber on repeat

3 years to the day
I decided to die
And from the ashes I decided to rise
Not sure how,
Not sure why,
I decided to fly
My wings forgot how it was to soar
Tied up-bound
So I would forget my roar

3 years to the day
That version died away
3 years to the day
I started remembering
Looking, pondering
Where that fierce me
Had lingered wanting to be free

It’s a funny kind of mourning
Learning to love those empty spaces
And of the old places
Love used to reside

© Mandie H. Lopera