Sometimes, when I feel lonelier than silence,
I wonder if this loneliness is my fate or preference.
In this world full of the sounds of footsteps,
of people who truthfully lie and wholeheartedly betray,
I think maybe this solitude is better, and I prefer it this way.
But what about the abandoning echo of your footsteps,
growing further and further away?
Without you, I don't seem strong enough to confront loneliness' troops,
with this paralyzing dread that sprouts,
from deep within my thoughts and doubts.
I'm not only afraid for my own sake,
I know alone and on your own, you will also break.
So come back and entangle your roots in my heart's branches, to surprise the desolation's strong winds.
I feel its sinister presence crawling under my skin,
more unforgiving than any other deadly sin.
It's bitter how enemy troops think I'm well armed,
when I know how forsaken I am.
With all these shadows lurking around,
laying baits in the dark to lure their prey: my wandering thoughts and my delusional heart,
and my only weapon is this one candle,
which I've lit to weep in front of my fears,
in hopes of it defeating darkness with its burning bright tears.
Until it also seems drained out while it's pouring outside,
So I take my loneliness’ hand for a walk under the rain,
Then we can both have a minute of silence again,
In honor of all the prematurely born wishes and dead dreams.
After all, the saddest deaths in the world are the ones happening quietly inside, without anyone knowing.
Like when one's heart dies in their chest.
The flower of love once blossomed becomes wilted,
and the butterfly, no longer having a flower to flutter around, dies in loneliness.
While nobody is aware of this small cemetery and the silent deaths taking place.
I breathe the rain in, and I think I feel better after this short walk...
Because at least, I know even in my most lonely times, I haven't imposed my presence on anyone.


© DawnS.M