what if, for one single heartbeat it was real?
what if, for one deep inhale I do mean it?
what if, it was as real and as transient
as these drizzled pouring in between
us, as our late-night walk turned into a tangent?

what if, I were more sure of you
and made up my mind how my feelings would go through?
what if, I had a little bit more courage
and said that in my life you could've been more than a page?

what if, I loved you? what if, I liked you?
what if, I will -someday- end up loving you?
what if I ever did, in the span of a single heartbeat?
what then, what about it, what could've you done?
what would've been different, what could've changed?
what more could I've said to you, what is left there to explain?
what else could you feel for me, if there's any other chance?

what if I told you, I loved you, once, sometime ago
once, sometime ago, your hand was holding mine
it was baffling, but it was our first time,
you shrugged, "we could be whatever you want"
it was baffling, but it was my first time,
and feeling like you didn't really mean it
well, did it cause me to leave you behind

but for one single heartbeat, it was real
as real as the seafoam washed ashore
as real as the lightning striking faraway
as real as this warmth I feel of your hand
for one deep inhale, I wished you had loved me
I wished you would mutter your love
albeit in doubt, in uncertainty

© lostboyzephyr