I still have the paper plane you gave me
All its foldings imperfect
Once in the attic, now in my closet
I look at it, touch it, feel it
Whenever I feel the need to remember you
You and your face imprinted in my head
Endearing, impeccant, cherubic
Your word salad, random topics
As I close my eyes, everything comes back to me.

Why am I surprised that you've changed?
You forgot my name and my voice
How did I let this be?
I was so consumed by my own selfish choice
To be away, trying to cut myself from the specters of my past
I've also cut myself from the boy who've grown up so fast.

How long has it been?
How long did I leave you wandering?
Your voice deepened
Your body language matured
And I couldn't recognize your smile anymore
Couldn't recognize the face that cared for you the most before.

Reticent - what has made you that way?
I'm sorry I left you just when you needed someone to stay
Now you're playing baseball
Imagining you wielding your bat
That cap suits your now manly face
But deep inside, you're still the little kid I knew when things were out of place.

Your paper plane - I wish they could fly high
High as my hope to see you for the last time
The discoloration only furthers the melancholy
Regrets reverberate, knowing you're not here with me.

© ajyoyama