Honestly, my intentions were confusing
Been to this and that, doesn't know where it leads
I kinda believe that I'm subservient to my disintegrating mind
Stuck in this loop, why revolt, when you can just let it be
When there's nothing worth to find,
When there is is nothing good to see

I sat and fled, an albatross with decreasing feather
Doesn't decide, wherever direction, it spread its rusty wings
Took cover beneath a rain shower, it cower it's head
Shut its eyes, nausea, an enraged storm of thoughts within the mind filled by extravagant feelings
It cries subsequently with the rain, releasing it's pain
An insane bird that soars above the mesmerizing skies,
Sometimes upon the chilling climate of the midnight, half blinded yet persevering just to feel something
Just to be back on the ground thinking it had done something that is remarkable
A little bit of joy, a much more distress, at least it felt a feeling, not a hole or a void

An ambitious man, that consists of passion, some men sees great future ahead of him
He believes it as he obeys what's he's being told to do, to live life like how it shall be
Evolution of thoughts led him to amend his way of life, boredom made him to experience rich feelings
Slight revision turned into revolution, some people might see him as so different unlike who he was when he was young
He can prove them wrong, by succeeding in every aspects of life, no matter how destructing it is to his well-being
They might say they care, they may say they do truly, but all they wanted is what he can offer for them
This world had been too tough for him, that to seek just a tiny moment of mental support is an absolute weakness
This not could've gone any deeper if he didn't let his curiosity prevails
As he tries to present the love he needed to other people, the exact way he wanted to be treated
No matter what he went through, the pleasure they get from him reflects him too
It's enough for him to satisfy others, but at the end of the day, he totally had betrayed himself into loving other people more than himself
Said that he might be dumb but not too stupid to let this go on, but the process seems he's too far gone, it's too late to move on



© Dizon