Time just goes by on and on.
I, still tried, to make it work.
Life, I felt, when she said that.
Cried, I did, when I knew that.
I used to believe in us, in us.

Maybe it was bad timing.
Maybe I was not ready for it.
I couldn't know it right.
I was so naive still I am.
But I know I would have,
chosen another pretty path.

So there is nothing to do.
This depression never left me.
I learned to cry and fake,
each of those smiles I gave.
You were so beautiful,
I don't know what to do.

I still miss you.

And nobody really cares.
Nobody gives a damn.
Not my dad, nor my mother.
Who all gave opinions,
on what I should have done.
I'm sorry, but that,
doesn't fix anything I did.

I do wonder sometimes,
if we were still friends,
even if we couldn't be,
at least be our company,
but I destroyed everything.

I met this new girl and,
she's kinda cool but not,
anything special I will say,
we laugh but nothing else.
I don't feel connected,
maybe I should drop it.

I still live in fairy tales daily,
where I am someone else,
someone actually worth it.
Where we have everything,
where I am everything.
I laugh and it's not fake.

Things just aren't the same,
I am convinced they won't be.
I am only holding on cause,
I guess people expect me to.
I wish I could be gone too,
I don't know how to say,
I still haven't felt really okay.

Things go on and on daily,
I lost my motivation to keep on.
My childhood left me damaged,
and what I really needed,
was never provided to me but,
what I now depise.

I don't really understand,
what is the purpose of life.
Am I to laugh or to cry,
for all the suffering I've seen,
this is insane I'll go crazy.
I still don't know what to do.

Guess I'll pick myself up again.
Guess in life you gotta keep on.
Guess nothing will be enough.
Should I still try to move on,
should I find reason for love,
and if I feel so broken and torn,
how could I heal back my soul?

I still feel the loneliness,
the isolation and all the pain.
If I could choose the variables,
I would build a perfect life.
Given that I can't do that,
guess I'll try do what I can,
just tell me that I'll be alright.

Will I ever be alright?

© dats_poetry