Let us start with life. What is it? Is it something you have or something you experience? It seems to fuel the shell that you call your body, but is it actually your body? Or maybe borrowed. The life that possesses this vessel, is it you? Or are you the time that passes through it? As much as we do know, we know that we are something. We experience, we breathe, we live. But is this life a thing that we possess?

We die, but do we really die? We can experience someone else's death, but when we boil it down, can we experience our own? We can be aware right up until that final moment, but will you notice that moment when the light turn out? No one can tell me exactly what happens right after, but people can tell me their guesses and ideas of what could be. It's possible that we are all of the exact same point, a super mind, and divided into a myriad of life forms, and when we reach that death, we just fill in the gaps like we always have. We are the life that fills the vessels, and we've been doing it for an eternity, and will continue to recycle matter into infinity. But, this is just my guess, and it's as good as any. I'm not religious, but I won't argue anyone's religious views either, except when asked to, which I have been before. I've helped people fill in the blanks when they have reached questioning their own faith and religion, which is fine, I'm here to help those who may need it. But who am I to write the afterlife as law? The only way to know is to experience it for yourself. Death is the final test of your faith. So for your sake, I hope you're right, and for my sake, I hope I'm wrong, because I would love a long, everlasting sleep when I'm done here.

I'm not ready to die, I actually fear it so deeply. It's not based on how much I love being alive, because I don't, but the moment of changing between being alive and death. It is beyond terrifying. It is safe to say, I'm not ready to let go.

I am able to let go on acid though, wooee! I have let go almost every time and dove deep into the realm. I hope that is what the after life is, I would be ok with that.

I am unable to walk around in the town I grew up in due to verbally violent behavior from the people within it. I can no longer walk by myself without the fear of being attacked, and I can no longer park my car without fear of it being vandalized. This is the world we allow, people are allowed to hurt other people. In no way do I deserve to be treated this way, but I am. Just because I chose to look different, and change my gender, does not warrant this behavior. You allowed people to get like this. This is your fault, and I won't let that go.

© Envelope Penelope