"Don't look back"

but my mind travels back, seldom to old situations
frequently to existent feelings
where wounds haven't yet dried up
where grief will find you once you're lonely
where hurtful scenarios are played over and said over plentiful times
on repeat, on repeat..

You wanna go back so bad, Mom
I wanna go back so bad too
You wanna go back so bad
because you wanna meet our most-agreed loved one, it's fine
I wanna go back so bad
because I don't like the way things work here

But, if indeed you go back soon
when you're already there to the place where we've desired wholeheartedly,
I know the desires to go back will get much stronger just like back then
'cause that means I wanna go back so bad since my second loved one are up there
And I wanna follow where love goes
...
My heart still beats
That you're very much alive
I mean it
I am moved
To where you move
...

#grief #scars #painful #past
PS. partly a raw excerpt of my written poem
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