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(part 2) - surrounded with psychology
II. Anxiety

Today was day two and I was going to meet a girl with social anxiety and PTSD. She was a young adult who lived on her own and previously was in an abusive, toxic relationship with her ex-boyfriend. I wanted to see how she was doing and hope she is healing the best she can right now.
When I met her, she seemed a bit hesitant and looked a bit nervous. She told me she feels anxious when she meets people for the first time and feels as if she can’t trust people nowadays. I understood why she felt this way. I told her that I would give her time to get used to me for today and said I would only be observing and not judging anything she does.
I noticed that most of the day she stayed inside and tried to do things that distracted her. She either watched TV, drew pictures, write poetry on how she was feeling, and sometimes slept for a bit in between. There were moments of her crying and thinking about the person she was with. She kept repeting his name and saying things like “I wish you never hurt me” and “I regret being with someone like you.” I knew the pain was there inside her. Trapped in her body, wanting to come out but stuck. Whenever she wanted to buy something like clothes or food, she’d order it online. She would make sure the person would leave it on her front porch so she wouldn’t have to greet them because she’s highly anxious.
She told me that she’d always have social anxiety but it’s worsen ever since the traumatic event she had. It was so bad to the point she didn’t make any interactions with anyone because she was afraid her ex would come around and do something to her.
We had a little conversation about what really happened. She told me that she didn’t want to say too much and I told her that it was okay and that I understood. What she told me was very unsettling. I was shocked that a person would do such a thing like that to someone. I gave her a hug and she began to cry. In a low voice, she said, “I always have these intrusive thoughts that he’d break in my house and do something to me.” “I think about everything he did to me every single day and I hate it.” I told her that she’s very strong and that I would make sure nothing like that would happen.
Before I said my final goodbyes, I wrote my number and other contact information in case she ever needed to vent or even tell me if something ever happens. I gave her one last hug and I told her that maybe therapy is an option for her considering how bad the trauma was.

© eyesthatcry