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HOW HAVE YOU CARED
The sound of their voices echoes in my ears as I remember the moment when I was about to leave home for school The voices of my parent telling me to remember the child whom I am and to maintain my academic standard like I have been doing when I was in secondary school.
However, the tertiary institution is not what they assume it to be because they believe that it is just an advanced institution and there is a bit different from secondary school. But they were wrong because it is not what they think it is. The early morning lectures when there is no one to wake me or prepare me ahead of the class, the impromptu tests and assignments, the walking distance from one lecture to another especially when it is from one Faculty to another, not to mention the struggle for seat in lecture room or standing throughout the whole 2 hours lecture, return from classes looking tired and stressed out and there is no one to cheer or motivate, depriving myself of the usual 8-9 hours of sleeping so that I can read and do my assignment. Unlike when I was in secondary school where I would be seated in the classroom and the teachers come to teach, then return home to take a nap, do assignments and revise, and then eat even when I am not hungry. But now I only eat when I am famished.
I realized I am doing all of these to meet my parents' high expectations from me, and to put a smile on their faces when I show them my result. Whereas they know nothing, absolutely nothing about the struggles and pains behind that result. The frustrated feeling of how they expect too much from me, the numbness in me as a result of stress, the feeling of escaping the world for at least a few hours, the banging headache from sleepless nights and inadequate rest, the struggle for seat especially when I have back to back classes at Faculties that are about 10-12 minutes far from each other, the pain of going to class even if I am sick so as not to miss attendance or any class and also the fear of failing.
Fortunately or Unfortunately, exam days are approaching and I need to buckle up more, this is the time that I need to be called or checked up on the most because of exam tension coupled with the fear of letting my parent down, the time when mental health is not always stable because who is going to listen to my when I complain about what I am going through as a student, all that matters to them is that they provide for me my basic needs and I should not have anything that bothers me.
Now I am done with my exams and expecting results, then they make me tensed by asking when will the result be released. Okay, the result has been released and here they are again complaining and comparing my performance with how I used to be when I was in secondary school.
I would have done better than this if their expectations are not as high as they presented it to be and they at least called to motivate especially during the exam period
© Heritage
However, the tertiary institution is not what they assume it to be because they believe that it is just an advanced institution and there is a bit different from secondary school. But they were wrong because it is not what they think it is. The early morning lectures when there is no one to wake me or prepare me ahead of the class, the impromptu tests and assignments, the walking distance from one lecture to another especially when it is from one Faculty to another, not to mention the struggle for seat in lecture room or standing throughout the whole 2 hours lecture, return from classes looking tired and stressed out and there is no one to cheer or motivate, depriving myself of the usual 8-9 hours of sleeping so that I can read and do my assignment. Unlike when I was in secondary school where I would be seated in the classroom and the teachers come to teach, then return home to take a nap, do assignments and revise, and then eat even when I am not hungry. But now I only eat when I am famished.
I realized I am doing all of these to meet my parents' high expectations from me, and to put a smile on their faces when I show them my result. Whereas they know nothing, absolutely nothing about the struggles and pains behind that result. The frustrated feeling of how they expect too much from me, the numbness in me as a result of stress, the feeling of escaping the world for at least a few hours, the banging headache from sleepless nights and inadequate rest, the struggle for seat especially when I have back to back classes at Faculties that are about 10-12 minutes far from each other, the pain of going to class even if I am sick so as not to miss attendance or any class and also the fear of failing.
Fortunately or Unfortunately, exam days are approaching and I need to buckle up more, this is the time that I need to be called or checked up on the most because of exam tension coupled with the fear of letting my parent down, the time when mental health is not always stable because who is going to listen to my when I complain about what I am going through as a student, all that matters to them is that they provide for me my basic needs and I should not have anything that bothers me.
Now I am done with my exams and expecting results, then they make me tensed by asking when will the result be released. Okay, the result has been released and here they are again complaining and comparing my performance with how I used to be when I was in secondary school.
I would have done better than this if their expectations are not as high as they presented it to be and they at least called to motivate especially during the exam period
© Heritage
