In a way I hope you feel that I miss you sometimes, you are the first one I gave my heart to. You were are the only one who I let rip my heart out of my chest while it was still beating and throw it away. I know you had turned up with jerky side, in fact I knew from the start. However I was so happy those few weeks with you and it felt magical. It you also kind of weird how everything felt new and like a fresh start, but you didn't like the feeling of new you liked what you already knew. That's one of the reasons why me and you can never work, it's kind of ironic that we work together though. You were actually the one who came onto me and at first I said no because I saw you like a brother or a really good friend plus I didn't want that to get messed up but, somehow the situation is messing me up all over again. I know this is going to sound crazy yet but, remember when I told you, you made everything feel magical? Well even when I was walking your dog it didn't feel like I was walking a dog, it felt like I was walking in dragon but, maybe that was just your dog was so awesome. I miss walking around town with him it was almost like everything was brought into a new light, like everything turned from a grey into every beautiful shade of every color you could think of you.
Walking with you was actually enjoyable too, which is weird because usually I don't like walking with other people but, I knew I wasn't what you were used to and I should have known better. Especially when you and your ex were hanging out a lot, meeting at certain spots. I allowed because I trusted you but the whole time I was crying in your arms you showed no emotion at all and you actually felt cold to the touch, but I trying not to notice. I just feel like I need you to know this you made everything more grey you actually took even more of the tint of light away. I was happy with you but not happy with you but it wasn't just you however I feel like you taught me how to be happy again for a split second but then you took that all away again. I know we partied together for a lot of our relationship but with the you I knew how to cut myself off but, once again it's like I can't stop. I cried out more water than I had drank in years. I also drank more to at first, I know you have noticed that I can't focus at work anymore and it's partly because of you. Then you decided to quit the job and go back to your old job well at least out of sight is out of mind but, that only works sometimes because, your still on my mind because of you I still have trouble focusing and doing other things because you told more of the light away. I am trying to get myself back to the way I was before you at least or way I was with you because that would be great.