that time the time stop and I feel all alone but I realized actually i was all alone from the start, we start our journey with hand holding with our parents and our beliefs but in truth the more we grow we do things for our own eating it is for our own studying it is also for ourself we grow we work but in reality everything we did is alone and for our self . I just had this realisation I wish to express it but I don’t have any words in which I can express them i want to draw a portrait to express my feelings. from time to time I get different thoughs and feeling it like suddenly had realisation of truth of life but after sometimes I also go my old way it is a kind of life we are living like illusion. I get out of that illusion occasionally when I truly connect myself with my inner self with my god when I truly devolve in my deep thinking i got such thoughts where life feels like illusion. sometimes it’s beautiful illusion sometimes painful I feel thankful for giving such life but I feel sad when I unable to live it the way I imagine because I still lost in this illusion of life and I feel very bad if I do something wrong I feel too bad if i emotionally hurt my closest person with words in a moment of anger. life feels like illusion but opening my eye all of its real , sometimes I don’t know whether to enjoy life or to do useful stuff in simple conflict, life passed by and I am still unable to find the way to live my life . sometimes everything is very confusing while on second thoughts everything is simple . if I am happy i feel like everything is easy, a little hurdle feels make life hard after solving hurdle of life it feels like life worthy living, everything will pass we just need to focus on thing and solve the problems . sometimes I get over the top motivated so much that feels like I can become a millionaire by myself but all those motivation came at night and morning makes me lazy while my mobile makes me addicted. than thought came what I am doing with my life how much I can do with my life but I am wasting it with no fix direction to go just going in through motion. still exploring a little only I wish to have a courage and determination to wake up in morning to do exercise, do my work with passion and learn new things in life . still want to live by loving myself and people closest to me . I wish to harbour no ill feelings towards anyone I wish after giving my peace of mind to them I can leave and throw those ill feelings towards them away and can move away from them so much for inner thoughts. but this is life it’s not easy to control emotions sometimes we hurt the people closest to us more than anyone else I don’t want to make those mistakes. life every second take different turns don’t know what we decide to do.