I feel as though yesterday,
I opened my eyes for the very first time.

Yesterday, was day The First,
The first day that I had known,
For words alone,
To cause such hurt,
To cut down to the bone.



I did not cry,
Beneath your gaze
Or the confusion on your mind,
Evident, I'll have you find,
In the denial in your eyes



It wasn't much,
To sit there,
To stare,
As though a ghost...



But she was there for me last night,

To stand up for me,
When I faltered on my feet,
Unsteady knees beneath me
To be my voice...



That I shouldn't need,


Because I can stand,
On my own two feet!
I can speak,
Without missing a beat!


I'd love to tell you who I am,
To stand and tell you why you're wrong.



You think you're argument's so strong,
When it's rittled with holes,
loopholes,

all around.



Funny how that works,
How you used to insult me with that word.

You thought it was cute,
just a nickname you gave me,
I thought it was awful,
demeaning and rude...



Loophole girl,
You called me,
Well, take a good long look,
Which one of us is searching,
For a way out of this whole affair,



Debate,
Discussion,
Argument,
By whatever name you call it,
It's really all the same



How do you think it feels,
To be told that you don't exist,
That in the eyes of the law,
You're invisible,
Until you've enough years on this earth to be imprisonable,



To be told that my feelings are just that,
Feelings,
That don't matter in the scheme of it all.



To be told that, One day,
I'll amount to nothing at all



To be told that it's my fault,
When you're the one with the keys,
When I'm just looking for something,
To find some release,



But I'm glad that I found it,
In the character, cadence,
Rythm and time



The meticulous magic,
Of poems and rhymes.



The sylabical fashion,
Of lymrics, so light,
Or the lyrical lilt,
Of a Hicou at night!



And when I try and show you,
What I've worked so hard to be proud of,
You simply brush it off, empty, not even a second thought
Or tell me to go, just simply leave you alone,
Go do something usefull,
Go do this!
Go do that!
Leave me be,
Go!
Scram!
Scrat!



Well, here's something to ponder,
While I go raid the larder,
'Cause I don't want to eat,
Where I don't have a voice,
The table?
That's your land,



Because how can I speak,
With my words stuck in a pen,
And no paper with which,
I'm to breathe them to life,

You tell me to use,
My fork and my knife,
But I tell you,
No

'Cause I'm not eating tonight


You want me to eat?
Them let me make what I like,
Not seafood and porkchops,
Shrimp, mushrooms,
Or beets,
"fresh" from the garden,
In December, you say,
Well they'd still taste like wood,
Even cooked for a day.


So let me speak out,
With my paper and pen,
Twenty three thousand words,
and you said that it was "nothing"
But I refuse to accept that,
Because that's just plain absurd!





You and your cruel jokes,
you laugh as I cry.



you don't beleive in me,
Say that'll be nothing,


You said, and I quote, "...Don't worry, we'll donate to the homeless shelter when you're older..."
What the hell kind of father says that to their daughter!



You may not have struck me,
But you've done damage aplenty
and sometimes when I'm sad,
I almost wish that you had,


Because at least then, I'd have proof,
That you treat me like scum,
While you worship my sister,
like the fricking chosen one,
You say that you love me,
That you love us both equaly,
I stopped believing that awhile ago...
Why can't you see,
I don't dissrespect you,
I practically worship the ground under your feet!


Why can't you see,
all that I want,
Is love, and respect,
And an equal footing to stand atop,
To be seen as a full human being,
not a half-hearted flop!

So when I tell you get out,
You get the hell out!
When I tell you to stop,
You better stop drop n' roll!


Because while Hazel's around,
You can't touch my sense of self,
My sense of value and worth,
You can't say I'll be nothing,
Because I'll ALWAYS be something,
When Hazel is here.


I know that Mumma still loves me,
And Linden and Hazel,
But Linden't the dog,
And Hazel's my rock,
She treats me like family,
As a good sister should,
Knows how to deal with me best,
And honestly, sometimes,
I wish that she were my mum...

but that's not gonna happen,
So that fanatsy's done.

And so I'll keep writing,
I'll keep soildering on,
Writing my worlds,
and my words,
Bounding on.

You can't stop my mind,
Or the voice of my pen,
No matter how much you tell me,
I'll be nothing at all

Beceause If I'm really nothing?
Then you're just f**king small...

*Sorry abou the abrupt change of pace from my usual, but I wrote this as kinda a spur of the moment thing, and it only took me 25-30 min, so don't judge too harshly. It's abviosly not one of my best, but its a bit more in the style of a confessional peom, but i gues I was just experimenting with writing styles and my emotions late at night, and this is the result, so be kind? I guess? Idk anymore... Gosh, I need sleep, its 4am where I am right now. Goodnight then...*
© The Aeth Aero

P.S. I was the one who took the cover photo, by the way...