Phenomenal ,What a phrase!
I had confusions understanding the word phenomenal,
Although i knew what it means from a dictionary explanation,
But the fact that i was born and breed in the dusty rural village,
I just could not use the words extraordinary to describe myself...
I couldn't even attempt to use it to characterize my life or anyone i knew,

To me it was a big word with boundary,
Restrictions certain lineage and i was one of them.
Because in the communities, its like we had to get permission from the society to be outstanding or very remarkable...
I was made to think being small and acting small,
being common is what to strive for..
So you would fit in with everyone else..
And i valued myslf less for the sake of fitting in...
The worst part,
I believed this for almost all my life

I tried to be confident
I attempted to be different
I strived to be uncommon in the ways i acted,
Yet, all my actions were literally seen as an outcast by my own peers and the community...
They said "natitwa",
Meaning you see yourself..
They scoffed me all becuase i believed i'm worthy more..
And their mumbling killed the the extraordinary person that was maturing inside me.

This believe killed my confidence,
Until I knew I am phenomenal..
And I am meant to shine despite what people think about me.

© Chavani Ripfumelo Constacia