The ghost of him haunts my feed
I click and sigh
I lose control
A voyeur in my own demise
Each post a razor-sharp pin
Piercing my heart
Reopening old wounds within
Shirtless smiles and beachy sheen
His tanned skin gleaming 'neath a foreign sun
And his laughter echoes in a pixelated light
A caption taunts, "Living my best,"
While I'm still here, drowning in what's been
A love once vibrant, now a memory

Why can't I break free from this endless daze?
Jealousy and pain consume my every thought
Trapping me in this cycle
Unable to be brought
Oh, how I wish to let you go
To move on
To heal and find solace
To start anew and be strong
But alas, your online presence holds me tight
A prison of my own making, day and night

He paints a world where I'm the missing spark
His life a movie, mine a faded scene
His likes and comments, mocking butterflies
A cruel reminder of what might have been
But silence screams from his perfect squares
No apologies, no whispered cares
Just filtered sunsets and staged delight
While I'm left here
Lost in the night

But then, anger flares
A spark, a mischievous delight
To break this spell
Set my spirit free
To slay the dragon of my endless sorrow
So I build a monster in his guise
Pink hair, a horn, a glittered prize
His flaws exposed
His secrets planned
A twisted mirror, reflecting sand
Let the world see him as I do now
A clownish king with a hollow bow

His perfect image, now a twisted jest
The comments bloom, a digital war born
And for the first time, I begin to rest
No longer bound by love's unspoken chains
I watch him squirm beneath the viral sting
His ego punctured
Exposed by internet rains
The hero dethroned
The artifice takes wing

But victory tastes bittersweet and strange
A hollow echo in my digital lair
For in his fall, I see my own deranged
Reflection mocking, "Are you truly fair?"
This digital war, a charade
The world applauds
They think it's him
But in their praise, I find a clue
He's not so perfect, after all, it's true
Vulnerable, just like me and you
He craves attention, just like I do
This manufactured god, a lonely soul
And in his flaws, I see myself anew
The broken pieces trying to make us whole

Revenge, a bitter tonic I sip
His ego bruised, my own still ripped
But laughter bubbles, a twisted glee
As the monster he fears, starts to look like me

Then, a message, a tentative plea
Not to the monster, but to me
A crack in the facade
A flicker of doubt
The perfect prince, reaching out

And suddenly, the monster dissolves
Leaving just me with raw, open palms
I see him not as a god
But a boy lost, where I once trod
The line blurs
Fiction bleeds with fact
And in your hurt, I see my pact
To cage myself in longing's trap
To let you win with every snap

The need to hurt you, it fades away
Replaced by a truth I can't betray
We're both just searching for light in the storm
Two broken souls, weathered and worn
I'm hurting you, but I'm hurting me
Lost in a past that can't ever be
I let go of you, of me
Of the anger, the what-ifs, the never-seens
Of vengeful ghosts and memory
I turn off the phone
Close this chapter's end
"The internet's a scary place, isn't it?"

No more his life
No whispered stings
Just me, and breath, and fragile wings
Ready to fly, where freedom sings
The path ahead, it's unclear and wide
but I won't walk it with you by my side
I'll find my own laughter, my own sunbeam

Forgetting you isn't about the fight
It's finding light, in fading light
Setting me free from the pixel prison, where I couldn't breathe
Letting go of you, letting go of yesterday
Finding myself in the quiet spaces
Embracing the scars on these imperfect faces
And stepping out into the coming night



© Flynn Caulfield

#writco #love #Love&love