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I don‘t want to be a burden
Most days I question my decision
Wishing I could turn back time and shut my mouth
Because I feel how the relief is fading
While turning into a burning shame that I don't want you to know about
I hate that you're aware
That I spilled it all while thinking I was in over my head
Believing that I couldn't do it on my own
Having you all worried, while I'm now saying that it isn't all too bad
I know that I'm stupid
I'm so damn wrong for telling you that I'm doing fine
But I don't know how to deal with it
Because this battle had always been a secret part of mine
But now you see me
And you notice when I'm getting quiet and distant
Suddenly alert to all the signs
Making the well-meant worry feel suffocating and persistent
I don't know how to feel
Because my own mind is already too much to handle
And every time I surprisingly manage to open up
I end up hating myself for making it all into an exaggerated scandal
And I'm falling deeper
Yet I can't bring myself to admit it to anybody else
Not wanting to show them any weakness
Because I hate being a burden to anybody but to myself …
© BellaWritingHere
Wishing I could turn back time and shut my mouth
Because I feel how the relief is fading
While turning into a burning shame that I don't want you to know about
I hate that you're aware
That I spilled it all while thinking I was in over my head
Believing that I couldn't do it on my own
Having you all worried, while I'm now saying that it isn't all too bad
I know that I'm stupid
I'm so damn wrong for telling you that I'm doing fine
But I don't know how to deal with it
Because this battle had always been a secret part of mine
But now you see me
And you notice when I'm getting quiet and distant
Suddenly alert to all the signs
Making the well-meant worry feel suffocating and persistent
I don't know how to feel
Because my own mind is already too much to handle
And every time I surprisingly manage to open up
I end up hating myself for making it all into an exaggerated scandal
And I'm falling deeper
Yet I can't bring myself to admit it to anybody else
Not wanting to show them any weakness
Because I hate being a burden to anybody but to myself …
© BellaWritingHere
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