We used to spar together when we were in the ring. There was something about him that was magical and sweet. He would always push me to be my best, even though he had some mighty hands. The way he used to throw his jabs and hooks would have me locked in, as his punches would be really powerful. He took care of me and I took care of him and I remembered us just talking. This man was a great listener and he was also a great friend. I remembered going to the boxing gym one day and I was upset about something and I remembered him just being there. We sparred that day and he allowed me to unleash my anger and my rage. Though I didn't hurt him, it was the thought of him that gave me permission to unleash on him made me respect him a lot more. We ended up being the best of friends and what broke my heart was the day he passed away. When he passed, I remembered the day just being completely odd. He was shining really bright and he was smiling more than usual. So, we would train together and spar as usual, but I noticed something wasn't right. As we were sparring, he slowly started losing his balance and he collapsed to the ground. People in the gym were shocked as I tried to wake him. He was cold to the touch and he was blue. I remembered just being in a daze as the paramedics arrived and pronounced him dead. Because he died, I stopped practicing boxing for almost thirty years. His death really took a toll on me and I had done a stint in rehab, a stint in the psychiatric hospital and even spent a few years in prison due to alcoholism. It was at that moment that I realized that I needed to box again. I still remembered all the good times my friend and I had together when we used to train and spar together. It took me a while to accept that he was gone. But he died a broken heart. His heart was breaking while he was out of the ring. His wife left him and took his kids from him, he lost his job and even was forced to sell his house just to make end's meet. He never told me any of those things because I think he wanted to protect me and I also think he didn't want me to feel sorry for him. He was the kind of friend who stood on business and always depended on himself. It was boxing and martial arts that brought us close together and for him to pass away in the ring that day just broke my heart. I came back to boxing again because I know he would've wanted me to get back in there. But it was a sad feeling for me because he wasn't there anymore, but I made some new friends. I will always have love for him and our friendship was always meant to be. This man was there for me when I was in a dark place and he was always the light in my darkness. My friend passed away and I still can't believe that he passed away. Boxing makes a man strong and boxing made both he and I strong. I still think about my friend each and everyday. And so, when I'm sparring with these new guys, I would feel his presence with me. I hope he's resting in peace and I know I'll see him one day.




© Josiah Bhola Hillaire