It was cold winter and she just dreamed of cozy days that awaited in future. She was a delusional being, dreaming of love and lover. That one day there would a happy ending in her story and she would fly across the sky like a princess.
She was in shock, to see her most beautiful dream again. She saw him with her own eyes but hid herself from him. She was so embarrassed to let him see her. Her beauty was no less in the cold but she was just a lifeless cold human for him, or that's what she wrote in her heart.
Days passed and she died with happiness when he texted her. She was totally used to ignorance but felt their never ending conversation cute. She dreamt of him in their departure, she smiled at their blissful memories even if they were so small. Her heart broke at his sad story. She shed more than tears hearing his love story. he whispered, "Wait for me" to her but she danced little by little in darkness knowing he had a lover in past and oh, he now cried because she stabbed his back. She hated that girl who had his love but was not worth it. She hated him because he chose someone so useless. She wiped her tears and patted her back. She decided to wait for him like he asked. She still dreamed of their marriage and love until he said, "I fear love."

She strangely acted strong. She thought he was hers. Where can he go? but she was wrong. He stabbed her heart with words no one ever said to her. Maybe it was a wonderful pain when you are hurt from your loved ones.
She still gave him shoulder to cry on. She still used his idea of friendship for love. She was in love with his friendship, with his life and what not. To know they departed ways not only once in life but also as toddlers when they were purely strangers to each other. She was sure it was destiny. She knew it was destiny.

Every word from his mouth melted her heart. He made her strong yet weak. He was her first love and she wished him to be her first in everything. She wanted a chance from him. She wanted to give him the love he deserved but he just asked, "What can love be useful of?"

She knew he was broken. She knew he had deepest love for his past lover and she can never be that girl. The girl he truly loves.

So she remained a friend he wanted. She remained as a girl in his life he can rely on when he needed.

How can she tell her friends who say, "It's just a situationship" that it was more than that. It was love she had for him since kids. Since they were strangers. How can she explain that he was constantly on her mind even when she was not sure of the love she had for him. He corrupted her mind and soul.

So she preserved those memories. That one bike ride she dreamed of and became true. She was so blessed to be sitting with him and just staring into those eyes which were crying hidden from world. She knew his tears. His tears for his past.

She wanted that. She wanted that love and tears. She wanted to be the exciting thing he gets excited about. She wanted to stand beside him as he takes a path to success. She wanted to feed him dinner after a long day and kiss him goodnight.

but in his eyes she was just a friend. So she remained far from him. She was in this mess alone because he never understood her love. She saw the crumbs destiny threw. He was so blind. Her attempts to stay far were a fail. He was infront of her everytime her heart needed him. It was destiny's game.

He always pushed himself towards her. She was fighting those demons of love. Crying everytime his voice cracked with sadness.
In the end, she was failure at love. She failed to express her love and heart. She failed to show him destiny. She sighed and thought, if it was destiny he will see it one day. She prayed for him and loved him a little more and more every day.

She waited for the day he will be hers or he will be completely gone. Oh, the destiny planned it all. Why so beautiful if not meant? Why so dreamy if not possible? Were they in love and happy in another universe?

She hated this word Love. It was a dangerous poison to heart. Either you die with love or with words. She licked his scars and kissed him goodnight and it was a beautiful dream she wished to come true.

It was incomplete but are not all first love's incomplete and broken.

© Akshaiya