Have you even stood in middle of a open failed at night with no light nothing? If not maybe you should dare to you wont reget it not for one second. I never was a big fan of the dark. But it seemed after I become a young lady that summer.I didnt have a say what I wanted to do,even think any more. I could set out side on a good summer night I would rather be under the stars. My uncle seen that I feared the dark, so one night he rook me out an d shown me that their is even beauty in the darkness that God will always fine a way to show us that even in our darkness times he is always there you can always fine him. Thinking back before that night I witness that young man die. Always around the same time ever night durning the week I was took out to some woods, old barn,or down by the river bank. By the time I was 15 teen my eyes had seen so much,the things I heard, still today I have nightmares, I knew what they where doing was wrong, But what good would it do to say anything when the law man was part of everything, At 15teen I took my 1st trip over seas to do a pick up. I didnt know at the moment what was taking places. Till my way back I couldnt help my self. I that the guy that took me with him was going to kill me then. that summer when I was 15teen I was working on there farms, Drug Frams ,in the evening I was doing drop offs an pick ups. 2 Times a week we would go over an get the orders,Anything from guns,drugs..At that time I didnt relize didn't think any thing about what took place, A there was times a few other people would come with use, The Guy would always drop them off an then we would go an do what we had to do. Why I didnt think much of it because I judged what was ion the inside, didnt take the time to ask or look, These people told not only me every one knew if you messed with a kid you would die, Tell me help me understand they would kill others for doing something like that then you had them coming in taking us young girls having their way with use. By the time I was 18teen I had already been sold over 12 times raped by the very man I called my grandfather 3 times.There was this one guy that paid to keep me for a week. Still today I will stand not let any one make me believe any different I prayed ,prayed ,all the way to his home asking God Jesus not to let him hurt me as the others had. All I rember when we Got into the house I just turned Said Mr. Your not like them plz dont you know its not right you know God he sees all. I am alot of fun I can show you. Could you make me understand why, What he told me my heart stopped, He was given a choose do as they wanted or give his life for his bady girl, He never wanted to do what he did,He I was given His word that he would get his family an leave an never come back. Theres reasons for what they do some of them have reasons but I dont know of them, Then others They are that cold.heartless. What I'm trying to say Theres beauty, something good in even the hell storm. You can tell if you take the time sit still, listen, you will be able to see, 3 years ago The cop that I've worked with he was a good christian guy, He come by picked me up I thought we where going to do papperwork how it sure wasnt any pen or papper their. He wanted to take me somewhere an show me what his buddie an him had been doing. We got up to the log home he called for me to get out an come over to where he was at. I didnt think nothing of it. Because I was able to call him up any time an just talk ,He would listen. the next thing it happen so fast what got me was before he even acted even did what he did he stared to cry, Forgive me Im sarry the whole time he would say that I relized that their was 3 different men in the home i didnt see them when I first got there they come out stood there . They told him that was enough you can go now. It took him almost 2 weeks to tell me what was going on,
Mu whole life God had never let me down,when I would call out cry out pray to him he was their he always took care of me, Yes I went through stuff, But I lived Each day something takes place that I feel some kind of pain. Every day the words they speak of, I know this young man is just doing as he is told, All this has made him as well not turst any one, But he could choose not to hit me,rap me, the words the other things he does, telling me when i could take a shower even lay down to rest, He doesnt have to stand with them, Just not even 30 minutes ago he told me what I never thought I would hear from him, What I was told what the word around here an got back my way that he was to be the one to put the end to me. He said he was just joking that it wasnt to be said, The look he gave me,I dont believe its a joke. His older brother aready told me that he wanted me dead, if you could see and heard how they are what they have been sayying theirs been many times they didnt think or notice that I was standing their listening.His brother wants to be a woman,He puts on a pregnant belly with fake boobs, an a diaper,Not all the time, The older lady dont let her full you by God she I dont know The one boys that comes in every once in a while Dont you even try to tell him how to do anything he knows all an every one eles doesnt if he doesnt have his weed he follows the voices in his head. He has one son that is amazing daddie when he was 15 teen just as me he was living the same life. The one guy the is a it thats what I call Him for one he likes women still even tho he told me he had sex with a guy one time . He has more girl stuff then I do thats bad I've always thought he was maybe Bisexual. But after finding out all that. Ive seen good in him but now for the pass 3 to 4 years no . He had told me that their is a part of his child hood that he couldnt rember what happen. All 3 of them are that way. The one the youngest He had no clue didnt relize all that was true really was going on, Till they came after him tried to run him off the road every day he went to work , I tried to get him to not come with me. But he did I know what he saw, went through messed with him. He was one of those boys around here did as they wanted an no one would say a word.