what I can't have

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Poem

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Miss Morose

10 days ago

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I want what I can't have
held back by my own hand
give me connection
I need it deeply
I want it
but I will push you away with all that's in me

give me quite
I want peace
but my head will race and I will weep
so I fill the room with noises
so my mind will not go askew
give myself a headache
either way
and that's nothing new
Im at war with myself
when in a quite room

I want what I can't have
stability
please give me a cane
I'm wavering these days
but out of embarrassment I will throw it away
no stability for me
I want what I won't keep
my own opportunities stolen by me

I want to love myself
like the person who writes of self help
but I cant seem to put encouragement to use
I'm better at berating
negative little heart
I want self love
but won't play the part
I want what I can't have
always held back by my own hand

© Jada E. Clark

Poetry