His questions were lighter and I felt more at ease to tell him more. I hadn't given up hope that someone might believe me and help me get out of there. I kept my fingers crossed each time I felt that beam of hope around me. So far, I wasn't scared opening up even the most bizarre things about my relationship with May to him, it was as if he understood me perfectly or had been in my shoes before. He was a great listener and at some point, I felt like I could tell him all even without asking. I just had to consciously tell myself he's just a detective doing his job and not my friend.
"Marc and Jan were your older siblings right?"
"Yes they were."
"Were any of them aware of what was going on? I mean, you said your parent didn't know until you started acting strange towards your therapist."
"My sister," I paused with a swallow, "My sister was aware of it before anyone even noticed. But she never said anything. I didn't even know she knew. May was the one who told me she knew."
He raised a brow, "Well, why do you think she didn't do or say anything?"
I wondered at the question, I couldn't answer it as fast as the others. I didn't know why it felt unanswerable.
"June?" he tried getting my eyes because I'd bent down again. "Are you okay?" He asked concerned.
"She..." I began, "She... she didn't..." I continued, then I looked at him with a tear gathered up in one of my eyes, "She didn't..." I began crying.
"Oh no... June, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to cry. I'm so sorry. Here." He handed me a tissue from his pocket.
"Thank you..." I sniffed and wiped my tears with it.
"You don't have to answer it. I'm sorry I made you cry." He felt so sorry.
"No, its fine..." I sniffed, "She, she didn't do anything because she didn't want to hurt me. She didn't say anything because she didn't want the rest of my family to think I was crazy. She didn't even let me know that... she knew anything because she didn't want me to think I was going insane." I finally said with more tears coming down. I covered my face with my palms and began crying softly. I couldn't hear him say anything.
Hands descended on my shoulder softly and I could feel someone's presence behind me. The hands came down to my arms and I felt a warm embrace. His voice came down to my ear touching my hair, he breathed, I slowly stopped crying. "I'm sorry. Please calm down." he breathed again.
"Please." his voice in my ears became clearer and desperate, like he really wanted me to be okay. I took my hands off my face slowly, his hands hadn't left my shoulder, my sobs continued, but I felt so much better with his hands on me, slowly it turned into an embrace that didn't let go for a while.
In that hug, a thousand and one things I felt but couldn't explained passed through me and I felt they went to him, I felt he understood. We communicated without a word, feelings uncertain and sympathy from the heart ruled over us for a while, I could feel so much healing in that short embrace. "I'm sorry." I whispered to his hearing while he slowly ran his hands through my arms. "Its okay. Just be okay, please." he said again in my ear.
I nodded with a sniff. He got up and went back to his chair.
"I uhm... She, she just didn't want to hurt me." I said.
"I understand. You know, you were arrested after, according to the photos, you were seen standing over the dead body of Jan, after stabbing her with a knife." He looked at a file.
"Yeah," I sniffed, "She'd made a call to the police before she tried talking to me."
"That's kinda weird. Do you think she knew things would go bad?"
"I wondered same. It was like she knew I'd... I mean, May would do it."
"June?" he raised a brow, "You mentioned you before May."
I looked at him. "Jan came up to my room, she saw me looking at my mirror, talking to it. She came in and tried talking to me to stop talking to the mirror. But May got mad and I saw her go in front of Jan and shout at her to leave us alone. But Jan, she couldn't see her. She was just looking at me. May came to me and said we should get rid of her, that she was a bother to us. I'd always tried changing her mind towards killing Jan. After she killed the others, I begged her not to hurt Jan. Even though, she'd always known all that while. May refused listening to me and ran downstairs. I followed her begging."
"Did Jan see all this drama?" he wondered.
"I don't think so... But I heard her calling after me as I went downstairs. May was in the kitchen, I found her holding a knife. She had the look of anger in her eyes, she really wanted to kill Jan." I almost started crying then.
"Take it easy." He pleaded.
"May sounded different... Like she wasn't herself, like something was wrong. She wasn't listening to my pleas or anything I said. I heard Jan call my name and enter the kitchen. When I looked behind me, May was no more there, she was walking towards Jan. I pulled her back but she shook me off and I fell. Jan tried to help me up but she couldn't see May.... She was stabbed by May before she could even help me. I picked the knife and stared at her bleeding out. That was when I saw the lights of the police as they barged in through the kitchen door and handcuffed me. At the dark side, I could see May, she'd changed, she wasn't sorry, she wasn't pitiful, she left me to face a crime that she committed." I started crying again.
"June its okay, please." he said, "I think that's all for today. You need to rest. I'll see you soon okay?" He stood up and came to me helping me up.
The doctors came and took me away. As I walked out of the office, I looked at him and he looked at me. I felt there was someone besides Lisa I could talk to now and that felt really good. I smiled a bit and he smiled back. In his eyes, things would be alright. He was certain of it, I could tell.
© Ese Naomi